Artilleryvet --
You didn't mention the model of your tractor, I'll assume 9 or 2 N, answer will be similar for 8N ... well we'll get to that. Also, I'll assume that you lifted the spreader, then disengauged the PTO and left the draft control lever all the way up.
Assuming the above, it may sound obvious but the only way for the lift to lower is for oil to leave the cylinder. There are several ways that it may do so internally, the most popular seems to be a leaky piston ring, leaky control valve and / or a relief that's stuck open. I'm betting on the latter because you said the lift was okay 'till your friend loaded the spreader -- if the load hit the spreader hard it would have shock-loaded the hydraulic system. If the relief popped open (which is its job) and for some reason didn't re-seat it would allow oil to leak from the cylinder back into the sump.
Folks will tell you that you can pull the right side inspection plate and look for oil turbulance when the pump is running, but I can never see it. Others say to put your hand in there and feel for oil squirting past the relief (again with pump running) but there's no way I'd put my hand in a running machine. Best thing in my opinion is to drop the pump and replace the relief -- doesn't cost much and it may fix the problem. If it doesn't, I'd next pull the top cover and replace the piston ring. Use a neoprene O-ring vs. the original steel, and inspect the cylinder for any wear. Replace the pistion and cylinder if you have to. Upon reassembly pay close attention to the top cover seal because the high pressure oil travels to the cylinder via a tube along the side of the housing which connects to a passage in the top cover -- this will leak mercilessly if your gasket job is not up to the task and will re-create the very problem you're having now.
Hope this helps,
Pete P.
Harborcreek, Penna.